Well, we all survived finals and the chaos that it brought. John is waiting on grades and starting classes again today. He is taking 9 credits, which is a load, although 6 of those credits are his "internship" (aka going to work like he always does everyday anyway and getting school credit). He is signed up for his advanced writing class. Keep your fingers crossed for us. Writing is neither one of our favorite things to do. That's why we have people like Laura.... they're supposed to do all of the writing in the world so the rest of us don't have to. :) Dean and I have been out walking a lot more since the weather is divine outside. We live in a quirky part of Utah and love looking at the old houses in our neighborhood and the huge trees. I am finding that Dean is getting more and more bored just being at home and playing with his toys. It's interesting and tricky to find places where we can both be happy there. I hate the grocery store, so adding a baby into the mix doesn't sound like fun at all. He is also a little wobbly to be sitting up in the cart at Target or wherever, so I have to leave him in his baby seat. He is growing up so fast. He seems to be transitioning to 2 naps a day from 3ish. I never know if he's actually tired or just bored, so I have to just let him cry until he does something like this:

I keep asking him to "use his words" (ha ha) to tell me what he wants, and I guess this is his best way to use his words to show me that he's tired and needs me to put him in his crib since this is how he sleeps. Pretty funny.

Serenity Now!

Just one more huge giant final tomorrow and the semester's over. John has not slept for the past 2 nights except for an hour or two. He needs ti get all of his designs finished, printed, and mounted tonight. He also got called to jury duty tomorrow and has a HUGE website due at work tomorrow. When it rains, it pours.

Thankfully, Dean slept through the night last night for the second time in his whole life!!! It has literally been months since he has done that. He woke up at 5:45, but I'll take it for now. I woke up a lot wondering if he and John were still alive, but if this sleep streak continues, I will hopefully get used to it. I am so proud of our little guy. He's growing up so fast.

Spring has Sprung!

Finally. I LOVE spring. It is by far my favorite time of the year. I love the symbolism of the earth coming to a re-birth each year. It's no wonder that Christ was resurrected in the spring. Dean and I have been enjoying going on walks and looking at all of the beautiful flowers. I love watching his little brain learn. It's so fun.

We had a wonderful Easter with John's family here. We did a hunt on Saturday at Grandma and Grandpa's house. I got to help some of the 231 eggs (yes, there were that many and we only didn't find about 7). Easter is my favorite holiday. We had a great church block. John was asked to speak and did a wonderful job. I was asked to play the organ and I'm pleased to report that I didn't blast anyone's ears out. I tend to like to play loudly. We then had a wonderful Easter feast. I always, always, always volunteer to bring deviled eggs to every holiday dinner. They are always a huge hit. I usually boil 12 eggs, making 24 deviled eggs. That's just not enough any more. So I boiled, peeled, sliced, and smashed 18 eggs to make 36 halves. They were so good. I've been debating making more for myself. I did the math and it's only 47 calories per half. I didn't look (purposefully) at what the fat and cholesterol content are. I don't want to know.

John's family also has a wonderful, delicious, decadent, perfect, intense "Killer Chocolate Raspberry" cake that my mother-in-law created and won the Grand Champion at the Fair in 1982 when they lived in Virginia. I haven't ever seen it made, although I had devoured it countless times. This time around my sister-in-law Marja gave me a little tutoring session and I can officially say that I am fully trained in the art of making chocolate raspberry cake. It's a 4-layer cake with different fillings and frosting. I'm excited to make one on my own and see if I really know what I'm doing. It's one of those family traditions that I would be so sad if I never learned how to make while John and I are in Utah, which may in fact, be forever.

For those of you who are curious, I'm down somewhere between 10-12 pounds, depending on the day. I feel a huge sense of accomplishment, but yet, there is still more weight to lose than I have lost. I am also running out of pants that fit and can't quite fit into the giant pile of pants that would be great. But I'll get there eventually.

John is in the middle of the end of the semester. He had a 10-page paper due today for his Modern Art class that has just about killed him. He did a FABULOUS job. I loved reading it and seeing his passion for Saul Bass and graphic design. He "just" has to plow through his art history essay test (needs to prepare 5 of the 6 essays so he has at least 1 option when it comes to the test time), and finish two HUGE design projects for his graphic design class. He is doing a fantastic job. We are so proud of him.

John did the math and he will be done with school (barring any unforeseen complications with schedules) by December 2013!! WOO HOO! He works so hard and truly deserves to be done and graduated more than anyone I have ever met. Dean loves spending time with his daddy and gets so excited when I tell him that daddy's coming home. It will be fun when John just goes to work and then comes home.

Dean was cutting 2 teeth. They are almost all the way in and his behavior is much improved. He is starting to give me glimpses of sleeping better, but I don't want to get my hopes up. This has happened in the past and then just when I think things are better, they go completely in the opposite direction. He is also so close to crawling. He scooches all over the place and even pushes himself up onto his arms and toes. I know he'll be so much happier once he can crawl. And now for some pictures:

Dean was sucking on John's nose. I didn't get to it fast enough, but this is still cute.

I think, I think, I think

that Dean's teeth may finally be coming in? He has been extraordinarily fussy today, like sharp, loud screaming and I didn't know what to do. I had the thought "give him some Advil" which I did, and he seemed to calm down long enough to fall asleep. This is his second 1.5 hour nap today. This is very, very unusual. I felt around in his mouth before I put him down and I think one of his two bottom chompers has started popping through. I couldn't see anything, but it just feels like something sharp is coming through. Poor baby. :( I also feel like I've written this at least three times here on the blog, so maybe this time it's for real?

John was sick and stayed home from church yesterday. I was so nervous battling my busy baby for 3 hours alone, but thanks to the grace of strangers, I made it through. A lovely woman who moved in recently held Dean for about 15 minutes during sunday school and he played with her sparkly bracelets. I started to think that I needed to wear more sparkly bracelets if that's what it takes to keep him happy. Then they asked me to sub for the pianist in Primary during the last hour, which meant that one of the presidency members held Dean for the entire hour, not just for the playing part. It was such a relief to have someone else watch him for me. I truly believe that I was being watched over and people were responding to promptings to do small things for my sanity.

Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handy

This is for me more than anyone. I've felt really complainey lately about Dean and I don't like feeling that way. We are so very blessed to have a healthy little boy. We have so many friends who are struggling with infertility and we know we are more than blessed to have our sweet little Dean.

That being said, I just need to get this stuff off of my chest and then I think I'll feel a lot better and be able to move on. I have been really bad about journaling, so this is in some ways a family journal that I'd like to be honest with how I'm feeling. Please don't think I'm about to commit myself to the State Hospital. I'm just putting my feelings out there. I really hate reading people's blogs because they only put their "best" self out there and I feel like it's important to be honest and not sugar-coat my life and only write about how wonderful life is.

Dean is still struggling with reflux. I feel like every day I am changing his outfit at least twice. He's on his third outfit already for today. I am often covered in spit-up. I often change my clothes 2-3 times per day as well. I am so frustrated that we are now on our third of the three medication options, and I don't really think this one is any different than the other two. I am sick of getting solid food spit-up on me. Really, it's vomit. Not spit-up. There's a good reason why Dean is only in the 8th % for weight and it is due to his spit-up.

He is still not sleeping well at night. Just when I think I have things figured out how to calm him down without doing much more than putting a binki in his mouth and telling him I love him, things change. He is not sleeping well during the day. He will nap, but for no more than 45 minutes to an hour at a time. If I'm really lucky I'll get 2 hours, which is rare. I don't feel like I can get anything done in 45 minute chunks of my day. :(

I still keep getting advice from random old people at church telling me what they did that helped their kids 35-45 years ago and it is super frustrating. Thank you for caring, but this is not helpful.

With all of that complaining being said, Dean is such a sweet little guy. He is very, very active and rolling around allllll the time. He is often content to just play on his own without my entertaining him, which I know is awesome and great for a baby. He is a good eater. Thankfully we don't have to add this to the list. He will eat anything I put in front of him, as long as it's pureed. I had John try to feed him some little torn pieces of fluffy white bread and it was really funny. He hated the texture, yet insisted on putting more of it in his mouth. He is learning how to be a "big boy" and is doing great. He loves baby pears and bananas. He cries because I can't get things into his mouth fast enough. He is always hungry, or at least will always eat, so it's hard to judge when I've given him enough. When he is over-fed that seems to be a major trigger for his reflux, yet he is so skinny (just broke 16 lbs) that we're worried about him gaining enough weight. He is such a sweetheart and we feel so very blessed that he would come join our family. I know that all of this will pass and then we'll be on to new troubles, but it does feel better to at least think through my thoughts enough to write it out. Oh "blog therapy". At least it's free.

They dont call it March Madness for nothin

Can I say, first, this is the first year in 6 years that I haven't filled out a bracket. I am truly sad I didn't. That being said, what is up with both of the 15 seed upsets today?? I am crushed that Duke is out. I know I would have picked them to go into the Final Four for sure. I love Coach K and think he is stellar. I'm so excited he's coaching Team USA in the Olympics. If KU gets out early as well, my heart will be broken. At least my basketball heart.

1/3 of the way there

It's official. I'm 1/3 of the way there. No, I'm not pregnant again. I think it would kill me to have babies that close together. Just under 2 months ago I started counting calories and trying to be more active. I'm down 7 pounds as of this morning (and 2.5" in my waist and hips). Only 15 more to go. I'm down to pre-pregnancy weight, but not to pre-working-in-a-doctors-office-that-has-lunch-brought-in-at-least-once-a-week weight.

It's been tough, especially since my sleep is still not great at best (i.e. Dean STILL isn't sleeping well during the day or night), which leads to some emotional eating. But I've learned a lot and am not as embarrassed to tell people that I graduated in Exercise Science....