4 months

Well, we did it!! We all survived for 1/3 of a year!!!! It's probably sad how great John and I feel about that, but we're trying to be better at celebrating the small things. Here are some things we've learned to do in the last 4 months:

-Eat while holding a baby
-Sleep while holding a baby
-Change diapers on a squirmy or screaming or giggling or smiling baby during the day or night
-Survive on minimal sleep
-Love our sweet, previous and insistent baby
-Smile even when we feel like crying
-Roll over (Dean)
-Play with toys (Dean)
-Cut teeth (Dean)
-Love each other more than ever

We are so grateful to be parents. It is the hardest thing we have ever done, but there is no greater feeling than when your little baby recognizes your face and smiles at you with a face so full of love. It's hard, but worth it for moments like those.

Gratitude

Some of you might be thinking this post should have been done in November, but I am doing it now because I feel so much gratitude for so many things. Last night as I was up with Dean (who is TEETHING, by the way, that's why he's been so hard), I was reading on a friend's blog. She does a "favorite things" series during December and I was so overwhelmed by the story of someone she was featuring. The guest blogger and her husband have dug themselves out of $125,000 worth of debt! WHAT!!... I cannot even fathom that much debt, but I know it happens and is much more common than I might realize. (If you'd like to read her story, here's the link: http://thriftydecorchick.blogspot.com/2010/08/live-like-no-one-else.html).

As a teenager when I had a job, my parents had a rule that my sisters and I had to put half of everything we made into our savings account, and then we were free to spend the other half on whatever we wanted. I hated this rule, but it was among one of the best things my parents have ever taught me. I learned the importance of saving and that when you don't have any more cash, you had to do chores or wait until your next paycheck to get it (these were the days before debit cards were everywhere). As I read this woman's story, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for my parents and their instillation of sound financial principles as well as the Prophets for teaching us to avoid unnecessary debt. Life is hard enough, and it is so much better not having credit card or student loan debt hanging over our heads. I understand when student loans are absolutely necessary, but I am so grateful for John who works so hard to work full-time and go to school at night so we can avoid student loans. He only has 35.5 more credits to go and we hope and pray every day that we will be able to maintain his full-time job so we can remain debt free. There really is so much to be grateful for, but last night this was one thing that came to me that I thought I should share.

We are also grateful for our little Dean. I finally took him into the doctor on Wednesday because he was acting almost like he had an ear infection. The doctor was floored when he looked into Dean's mouth and saw that he is working on his two bottom front teeth. He's only 3.5 months old, so I never would have guessed that teething would be the reason he has been so difficult. As G.I. Joe taught us, knowledge is half the battle. And now we know and can keep him medicated with Tylenol to help him stay comfortable and to help us stay more comfortable as well.

We hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and are filled with gratitude for our Savior, Jesus Christ, and his miraculous birth and life. It has been especially wonderful this year since we have now experienced childbirth and raising a baby.

Thoughts on Motherhood

First off, let me preface that this post is for me mire than anything. I have not journaled since Dean was born and I want to remember the good and the hard times. John and I are so thankful for our sweet little boy. Just because we know deep down inside that Dean is sweet doesn't mean that he always is.

Since he was born, I think we have maybe had 2-3 weeks where we haven't spent most of the day and night wrestling him. He was a great sleeper who only woke up once around 4am for about 2 weeks. He was so cute during the day and actually let me put him down and slept in his crib for naps for the same 2 weeks.

For the past 3-4 weeks, I feel like we have digressed back to newborn Dean. I literally spend almost every waking moment holding him or he will just cry. And even when I do hold him, often he will just cry and refuse to sleep even though he is exhausted.

Last night, as I was up with Dean 3 times within about 5 hours, I started to wonder why we have such a difficult baby. I don't know the answer, but I pray we are "serving our time," and IF we have any more kids, they will be perfect angels. We both spend a lot of our time thinking of ways to keep Dean happy and comfortable, but I am starting to realize that we all have agency, even little baby Dean. Maybe this earth is just such a shock from where he came from that he can't help but cry when he realizes he's not there any more.

I know things will get better, but please don't tell me how happy my baby seems when you see him on a particularly happy moment because nobody really understands what John and I go through daily with this one. I just want to hear "i am so sorry", not a list of things that have worked for you and your baby. We are grateful for everyone's love and support, but sometimes we just need to hear that we are loved, not ways to solve our problems. As I said initially, this is not me wanting a pity party, just me hoping to express how this phase if life is so that I can remember how to help others in the future.

First family picture

New Trick

Dean has recently and finally figured out how to suck on his hands. It's lead to some pretty awesome moments like the following. Yes, those are wiener dogs on his outfit, and yes, I do think wiener dogs are adorable. Please don't take that as a hint to get me one. I cannot handle a dog and a baby.

Holidays

I am trying to make a better effort at blogging. I'm glad/sad that the only people noticing are John's sisters who live within 10 minutes of our house, but I guess it should be more of a record for us anyway. Our thanksgiving was great. We are so blessed to live close to family. We had a lovely week visiting with John's sister Christine and her family who visited from Seattle. We spent a lot of time with John's parents, sister Marja and her family, as well as my sister Laura. Our pies were fantastic. Somehow we only ended up with parts of 2 pies and no thanksgiving leftovers, but the pies were indeed delicious.

As has become tradition for John and I, we went shopping on black Friday. Before you forget that I love sleeping more than anything but my two boys, we did not go out at midnight. You see, there are still great sales happening at 10, 11, or even noon. This is our tradition. I didn't think we would go this year (due to our sweet, but very demanding Dean), but John's sisters wanted to hit a few stores. We were geared up to battle Dean and his hatred of the car seat, but our brother-in-law graciously volunteered to watch Dean. We had such a good time at the Bosch store that we bought a new blender that comes with a 5 year warranty. We burn through them about every 6 months.

Unfortunately, Dean got so thrown off his routine last week and got sick that this week has been very hard on me. But on a positive note, he is growing so fast and learning so much. I love watching him learn. He is now proficient in getting his hands in his mouth and smiling at us when we walk into the room or talk to him. He is very close to laughing and we can't wait to hear it. I don't care what any other mothers say, my little boy is the cutest baby ever. See...

Turkey Day ... or should I Say Pie Day?

Thanksgiving is a big, huge, wonderful, delicious deal for John's family. I love my family and our holiday traditions, but Thanksgiving was one holiday that blew my mind once I became a Van Orman. Here's the reason why: PIE!! They love pie, and we're not just talking the traditional pumpkin and pecan, although those have their time and place and I do love them. We usually have pumpkin, pecan, hershey's chocolate pie, lemon chiffon, cherry (or some berry), apple, sometimes key lime, sometimes banana cream, etc. And we're not just talking one pie of each kind, we're talking several. We all get together the day before Thanksgiving and have our pie "orders" with us along with the ingredients to make whichever pies we want. We figure out how many pies of each kind we need to make and then go through them by type until we've made them all. Luckily John's sister has 2 ovens to facilitate the deliciousness. I do believe last year John and I had 7 pies... in our defense, we did go up to my Aunt & Uncle's house for Thanksgiving day, and then had Thanksgiving with the VOs on Friday. Who knows how many we'll make this year, but considering I would like to lose my excess pregnancy weight, hopefully we don't go nutso this year with our pies.

Until Thursday, I'll be dreaming of pies and deviled eggs. What holiday would be complete without deviled eggs? or pie......

Before the End of the Year

On October 30th I was sitting in church, minding my own business. The lessons and talks were very well-prepared and I was thrilled to be in Sunday School and Relief Society, as I had spent a year and a half in Primary prior to Dean being born. I love primary and the simple Gospel truths taught there, but I have thoroughly enjoyed being in SS and RS for the past few weeks. One of the speakers related a story that hit me very hard. She talked about how she started to slack off in regards to her testimony after her children were born and spent most of her time happily watching Regis & Kathie Lee or other things rather than spending time pondering and studying the Gospel. At this point in time, I had watched all of Numbers, Bones, Lost, among other things because Dean refused to sleep anywhere than in our arms. He has since grown out of this (at least at night time and we are working on day time naps), but I spent a whole lot of my time watching TV shows because there was nothing else to do when holding a screaming baby 24 hours a day. Thankfully, John took a picture of him screaming just so we can remember what it was like. See:



Dean has made a huge turn around and has turned into such a sweet, gentle, cute, loving boy who rarely cries. I started to realize that I needed to find something else to do besides turn my brain to mush. I read The Help in 2.5 days and decided that I wanted to read more. I think it was the very next Sunday that I had the following experience based on the story related in the talk. I felt very strongly that I needed to re-read the Book of Mormon from start to finish before the end of the year. I figured that I haven't read it quickly since I was on my mission, which ended 5.5 years ago. I committed to this without having any clue of how many pages I needed to read in order to achieve this goal. I got home, figured out that I would need to read somewhere between 11-12 pages per day in order to achieve that goal. I just started reading in Jacob today and I cannot describe the difference this has made in my day-to-day life. I have found so many answers to problems and worries with Dean just by calming myself down through reading the Book of Mormon and allowing the Spirit to speak to me. I am excited to see how the rest of this experience turns out, but so far I am loving reading it so quickly. I feel much like Dean who used to scream without the ability to be consoled, but now he is a happy, smiling little guy.

2 month stats and a new job

I took Dean in on Monday for his 2 mo check up. He weighs 10 lbs 14 ozs (30%), is 22.5 in tall (33% and she measured him way shorter than he is) and his head is 40.5 cm (65%). He got some lovely shots and behaved like a champ. We love this little guy so much. I tried to get a picture of Dean smiling, but he wouldn't cooperate. Oh well.

In other news, John has started a new design job at Unicity, a company that makes health and wellness products, similar to NuSkin and others.

We found out about a week before Dean was born that Logoworks was going to be shut down by HP and John would need to find a new job as of the middle of October. You might imagine that was stressful news for us to take in, but we both felt peaceful that we would be led to something great.

John was contacted by a previous coworker whose wife is the creative director at Unicity. It led to John being hired. We are so grateful for this great opportunity. John keeps very busy at work, but is having great design opportunities and gaining great experience.

We are looking forward to this holiday season and feel especially grateful for the Gospel and our Savior this year as we have learned so much about trust as we have had instances when we could do nothing but trust in His plan for us and our growing family.

Baby bjorn love

So I recently discovered that Dean is big enough to fit in the baby bjorn that one of John's sisters gave us. It has changed my life. I have my hands. I can make dinner. I don't have to put Dean down and deal with the crying. We have Deans 2 month appointment on Monday, so I'll post his stats then.

An update - with pictures!!

Dean is doing great, which means we are too. I think he is on the brink of sleeping for more than 3 hours during the night, AND sleeping for more than one chunk during the night in his bed. Woo hoo!

He us adorable and makes the cutest cooing noises I have ever heard. We love him to pieces. He is 7 weeks old today and it's depressing to think about our lives when he wasn't here.

Dean is Here!

Hello everyone. Dean is officially here and keeping us very busy. He is 6 weeks old and is just barely letting us put him down for 30 minutes or so at a time during the day. Eventually we will post pictures. He is a sweet, sweet little boy who is very colicky, but we still love him. :)

He was born on August 31st. I went in to work that day (it was my last day), was having contractions all morning and finally decided to go home around 12:30pm. My water broke around 1:30pm and he was born at 6:28pm. It was very fast and let me just say I am soooo glad for whoever invented the epidural. I don't know if I could've had a labor/birth experience that was that fast without it. Anyway, we'll post more later with pictures of the cute little guy.

The End

We are officially within a week of the due date. Things are progressing, but we have one veery happy to stay inside forever little baby. If we don't have him first, we are scheduled to be induced next Wednesday the 7th. We are excited to know that there is a definite day that we will hold our baby and I can hopefully sleep for more than 45 minutes at a time. Send us good thoughts that day.

Another semester has started and we are excited for John's classes. We hope that between church responsibilities, work, and a brand new baby that schoolmwill be manageable for John. Tomorrow is my last day of work, which is very bitter sweet. I have been there for 3.5 years and have grown to love it. But there is a season for everything.

We will post some pictures when things calm down and let everyone meet our little baby, after he arrives, that is.

Craft Lake City is Upon Us

Some of you, including myself, might be wondering what I was thinking when I applied to Craft Lake City, knowing full well that I would be 37 weeks pregnant when it happened. I think I was thinking that I wouldn't get in, so what was the harm in applying. Well, I was chosen to be one of 180 vendors. I was a little floored, but very honored and happy to have been chosen. I have been pacing myself and working hard to make what I feel like is enough onesies and shoes to have enough selection. Well, tomorrow is the big day! John is a champ and will be sitting at my booth with me for the entire 8 hour event. We were assigned to be there to set up at 11am, which seems a little on the crazy side that I have to be there 3 hours before it begins, but there's nothing I can do about it. So, for those of you looking for something to do on a Saturday afternoon, come on down to the Gallivan Center and say hi! I am told it is a really cool show, with LOTS of different things. Supposedly there were dudes there last year making skateboards for people.

In other news, no baby yet. That's about all I have to say about that one.

Just One More "Transfer"

We are down to the wire. There are 6 official weeks left until my due date, not that it really means anything to this little guy. He could come early, late, on time... But, at least the only option that doesn't exist is NEVER. John jokingly said it would be great if he could just stay in there for the next 13 years. I about died. I can't even imagine feeling more uncomfortable and stretched out. Another 13 years of this... yipes. We are really excited to meet the baby, but are also anxious and nervous as well. Things are going well with the pregnancy. I feel so much more energized in the morning than in the evening, but I suppose that's probably normal. Maybe we'll actually take a picture of my belly before he's born. Maybe.....

Seattle

John and I recently returned from a lovely trip to Seattle to visit his sister Christine, her husband Jon, their three lovely girls Rachel, Becca, and Eleanor, and of course I can't forget the 2 vizslas Nana and Chai. We loved the time that we had with them to play and see the sites in Seattle. We drove up on a Saturday (take my advice, don't drive a 13 hour drive when you are 6 months pregnant...) and came back on Wednesday of last week.

More on the drive... We learned some VERY interesting things along the way as we made our way through Idaho, Oregon, and Washington.

1) Nobody, and I mean nobody, in Idaho (especially through Boise) speeds. They absolutely do not go above the posted speed of 65, and they do NOT move out of your way if you would like to do so. Someone who is from there or understands Idaho, please, please explain to me this weird "phenomenon".

2) You do not get to pump your own gas in Oregon. Once again, why weren't we warned? It made for one of the most awkward experiences of the trip.

3) Even when it is POURING rain in Washington, you'd better go at least 10 above the speed limit or have people on your tail.

We did enjoy some beautiful scenery along the way as we made our way through Oregon and Washington. I was surprised how much Idaho looked like New Mexico. (interpretation: ugly)







These next few are from our day at Pike's Place Market. We thought it was funny that there was a "smoking" elevator.



We went to the Seattle Sci-Fi Museum and Experience Music Project. Yes, it was a weird mix of things to have in one building. They have an exhibit right now on Nirvana that we enjoyed. These were all guitars and other instruments made into a giant sculpture.



We went to eat in the Space Needle restaurant and had an... interesting experience. Let's just say the food was ... interesting. The view and the company were fabulous. Just in case there were an emergency, don't worry, there are stairs all the way down into oblivion.



This last picture is just a random thing that made Jon, John, Christine, and I laugh so hard. We went to Dairy Queen on our way home from downtown Seattle and apparently the lock either broke or was cut off of a cabinet thing that was along the side of the building. As we drove by in the drive thru, I noticed it and we of course had to take a picture. Maybe this is what we all need to start using to keep unwanted pests/people out of things. Notice the notch that was cut out of it to make it the perfect shape.



Thanks Jon and Christine (and girls and poochies) for a lovely, wonderful trip. We loved our time with you. John misses the dogs a lot.

It's a.....

Turtle. That's what we told our families. My dad then asked which one of the ninja turtles it was. Anyway, moving on to the part of the story that I know you are all dying to know (ha ha), we a expecting a BOY. I was shocked, to say the least. Shocked, but very very happy. He is the cutest little baby ever, which I fully realize every mom says/thinks about their baby's ultrasound pictures.

Laura graduated yesterday and my parents have been in town. It has been fun to have them all here and we miss my other sister Kat and her family. After sitting through 3 BYU graduations (my sister Kat, her husband Jeremy, my own), we finally learned and brought a smorgasbord of treats to help the time and the boredom pass. I will say the speakers at Laura's were by far the most entertaining, but I guess that's probably because she graduated from the college of humanities, not health and human performance like mine, or PDBio like Kat and Jeremy. John took lots of great pictures, and hopefully I will remember to post them one of these days.

Haiku

Being sick is never fun, especially when you're pregnant and cannot take any useful medication. I love, love, love Advil Cold & Sinus and am really wishing I could take it. I know within a maatter of an hour at most my congestion would be all gone and I would feel better, be able to sleep, work, do aything useful, etc. In honor of my pining for my favorite cold medicine, I wrote this haiku:

Oh to be able
To breathe through my nose again
I miss you Advil

In other news, we find out our baby's gender on Tuesday, assuming this little wiggle bug cooperates. We'll keep everyone posted when we find out.

Dear Utah, Part 2

Dear Utah,

It seems we have to have this conversation every year. Why is your weather so bipolar in the months of March through May? I would love to be able to wear flip flops, or even make it a week without it snowing the day after it was 65 outside. If you could please explain yourself, I would really appreciate it.

Love (I guess),
Jen

P.s. My husband is sick of scraping his windows....

I Heart Houndstooth

I love houndstooth. When we moved into our current house, we needed to take off the doors to the laundry closet. I had been scheming to get houndstooth into the kitchen and it worked. I found this fabric that I loved at a fabric store and my mom helped me sew some curtains to cover the holes where the doors had been. When I was checking my friend Annie's blog today, I about died when I saw her post about this:



Let's just say I wish I were done making the quilt I have been working on for the past, oh... FOREVER, so I could justify starting this little beauty.

In other news, our little baby is quite the mover. I am getting nervous for when it completely takes over my belly. I can literally feel it moving around almost all day long. It's been fun to feel it move and kick/punch/do karate what seems to be focused mainly on my bladder. Silly baby.

Bracket Update

Nobody cares about this but me, and I CANNOT stop smiling. After closely following the bracket I am participating in under John's name with our brother-in-law Paul's family, I squeaked my way to the top after yesterday's games. Paul is right behind me with 2 less points, and we have the same Final Four chosen. This will probably get interesting. Thanks to Marquette for being a great sleeper to choose.

While this is great, the crowning glory to my not-so-good day today was when John came home from work and told me that his bracket (translation: my bracket) is in 1st place with his company-wide competition. It brought a smile to my face that will not leave. I guess it is the small things that matter, like having a great husband who lets his wife pick his bracket for him.

It's the Most MAGICAL Time of the Year

That's right, folks. MARCH MADNESS!!! Hope you've filled out your brackets because game play starts tomorrow. I am psyched and so excited for what will happen. All I have to say is:

ROCK CHALK JAYHAWK ... K U



Yes, I am brave enough to post that again, especially after last year's fiasco. I (cough)... I mean John still got 2nd place last year in his company party despite my... I mean John's error in choosing KU to go so far. Hopefully this year will be just as exciting and I hope, I hope, I hope I picked the right upsets.

3 Years and Still Going Strong

Since I know the only opportunity I will have to do this post is while John is at meetings this morning, tomorrow is our 3rd anniversary. Time flies when you're having fun. That means that on this day 3 years ago, we were in a horrible car accident and were blessed to be safe to still get married the next day. It was a cold, cold day in March, which caught me off guard. For some reason I had remembered March being warm in Utah, but in 2008 it wasn't. Thanks for a great 3 years and for taking such great care of me, especially during this time of being even more fickle with food, making decisions, etc. I love you lots.

"Labor" Day

I (Jen speaking) come from a very "punny" family. Not necessarily funny, but punny. I blame it on my wonderful father and his punny sense of humor, but I think puns are some of the funniest things in the world. It would only be fitting that John and I are due to have our first baby on Labor Day, or September 5th for those of you who don't know when that is. We are very excited. Everything so far is going well with the baby. I am finally starting to feel better, although I am starting to have some serious back pain and horrible sleepiness. We will keep everyone posted on progress. We won't find out the gender until the very end of April. Here is its first picture for your viewing enjoyment, or maybe for my viewing enjoyment to remember why it's worth it to feel so crappy.

Citrus Trees??

I went to go get one of the cars safety/emissions inspected today and while I was in the waiting lobby, I read the Martha Stewart Living magazine for the month of February. Let's just say that I am sold on the following item: a dwarf citrus tree that can grow indoors. They had a big article on how to care for them, which grower they recommend, etc. The only problem is which tree should we get? I would absolutely love a lime tree, but maybe a grapefruit or lemon.

I mean, really, isn't this the cutest thing you've ever seen??



For anyone interested or curious, here's the website of the company Martha Stewart recommends. fourwindsgrowers.com

Tile

Someone told me that the last post I made was kind of a "debbie downer" post and that we needed to do an update on all of the construction.

Our room has been drywalled, mudded, textured, painted, carpet pad replaced, and the carpets have been cleaned all within the last week-ish. We finally have everything ready to be able to move back in just as soon as we want.

This weekend we will be tiling our bathroom, thanks to the help of our wonderful brother-in-law Paul. John's dad came over last night and was a HUGE help in getting the Hardiebacker down so John and Paul can cut tile and get it laid tonight. I'll be sure to take pictures to post of the transformation. Yay for maybe having a toilet upstairs again by Monday, or maybe Tuesday at the latest. I might cry.